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Kindness To Yourself

Kindness is one of the most powerful sources on this planet, not to be confused with niceness.  Niceness is a slightly shallower pleasance that we bestow upon our fellow humans.  Kindness, however, goes much deeper than that. 

Showing people love, treating them with respect, offering genuine forgiveness, thinking about what it is like in their shoes, staying open-minded to differences, and always choosing words with care.  It’s great and wonderful, and yet time and time again, we forget to show kindness to one person in particular:

Ourselves. 

For so many of us, we become our own worst critics.  If we would talk to others the way we negatively talk to ourselves, we would be labeled the biggest jerks around.  If we undervalued and ignored other people’s health, bodies, and well-being in the same we undervalue and ignore our own care, we would be inconsiderate, at best, and downright terrible, more realistically. 

Why is it sometimes so hard to be kind to ourselves?  Why do you find it so difficult to treat yourself with kindness?

Maybe you have been handed shame and guilt by others so many times, all you see is shame and guilt when you look at yourself in the mirror.  Maybe because you so intimately know each flaw you have and each mistake you’ve made, you are reminded of them every day.  Or maybe you are so trapped by perfectionism and insurmountable expectations, you rarely feel like you will be able to amount to anything of worth.

But think about this:  If you had a relationship with somebody who constantly berated you, spoke down to you, told you that you weren’t good enough, kept bringing up your faults, refused to care for your needs, refused to give you rest, and heaped upon you one expectation after the other – you would (hopefully) end that relationship quickly.

Yet, we do this to ourselves everyday.  We think, “Sure, I can wrap my brain around showing kindness to others.”  And still, showing kindness to ourselves feels like the hardest thing to do. Like any other thing in this life, to get better, you have to practice.  Here are a few ways to show yourself kindness today.

Treat yourself 

  1. Think about one thing that brings you pleasure and do it without shame and guilt.

This could include, but is certainly not limited to:

  • Lighting a candle and sitting down with your favorite gossip magazine.
  • Getting dessert with a friend after work.
  • Splurging on a pedicure.
  • Leaving work 10 minutes early to beat traffic.
  • Go to bed earlier and love every minute.
  • Doing the cardio you love for as long as you like, that runner’s high.
  1. Replace a negative thought with a positive thought.

Sometimes in the pursuit of ridding our brains of negative self-talk, we end up adding even more negative self talk when we berate ourselves for every unkind thought that pops into our minds.  It is much more effective to replace the negative thought with a positive one than it is to beat yourself up about it.

You think:  “I can never do anything right.”

Then you replace it with:  “I do so many things right, yet I am allowed to make mistakes sometimes because I’m human.”

  1. Stop saying “no” when you want to say “yes” and vice versa.

We live in a confused society where people say “yes” to all sorts of things they really do not want to do, yet deprive themselves by saying “no” to what they actually want.

  • Say “no” to the baby shower you do not want to go to; say “yes” to the mimosa brunch with a girlfriend that you do want to go to.
  • Say “no” to being guilted into contributing to the office fundraiser you do not feel passionate about; say “yes” spending that extra money on your hobby.
  1. Speak your truth.

In deep fear of hurting someone else or being judged, we often silence ourselves.  By doing this, you tell yourself that your voice or opinion does not matter.  Find a way to speak your truth kindly, but as firmly as you need to.  Stand up for yourself the way you would stand up for somebody else. 

Show yourself some kindness today.  Then again tomorrow.  Make it a pattern.  Because at the end of the day, you are the only person you are guaranteed to have in your life.  You might as well make it a healthy relationship!

 

                     

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Winter Dry Skin and Face Oils

 

Winter may bring about plenty of magic –holidays, gorgeous snow, beautiful views, and family time – it can also be less than magical to your skin.  The dry outside air and heated inside air can leave your face flakey and dull while enhancing every fine line and wrinkle and even increasing acne production.  Not fun.

Any oil type can have winter dryness; this happens when the skin’s natural moisture barrier is disturbed with dryer air (from indoor heat) and cold gusts of wind.  Although we love our skin, let’s face it, who among us has the wherewithal to have an indoor humidifier on at all times?

Before you give up on the winter skin, know there are a few ways beautifying oils can really benefit your dry skin during this time and keep the winter magic alive.

One great way to combat this dryness is to layer skincare, particularly your moisturizers.  We typically bank on one heavy-duty moisturizer to do all the hydrating work, but sometimes our skin needs more than that.  Layering is a common practice in Korean beauty routines (that can often have upwards of 12 steps in their skincare regimes!).  They begin with the lightest hydrating product and then get heavier.

A great way to use this concept in your everyday wintery life is to begin the hydration process with an oil.  Since oils absorb instantly, they make a great first moisturizing step (of course, this all comes after cleansing, toning, exfoliating, using treatments, etc.). 

Passion Fruit Seed oil is a nice option since it is an antioxidant rich anti-ager that can rehydrate and make the skin plump up.  It is also non-comedogenic and can improve the skin of those with acne problems.  Once the oil absorbs (which will happen nice and quickly), you can apply your moisturizer on top of the absorbed oil for a well-hydrated face.

Another great tool for those with dry skin this winter is Sea Buckthorn Seed oil.  This is a concentrated oil that is extremely helpful in nourishing dry patches.  Beyond boosting hydration, it also helps restore and calm damaged skin.  Since it absorbs easily, you could use an extra moisturizer on top for extremely dry skin.

Try adding in oils to your nighttime moisturizing routines to really remedy your winter dry skin.

                     

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9 New Year’s Beauty Resolutions

2016 has just begun, sparkly and beautiful.  The symbolism of a fresh start is great for everyone desiring to make real change in life. In fact, nearly half of all Americans make New Year’s Resolutions each year.

But here’s the sad truth: only 8% of people admit to being successful in their resolutions. This is typically because they make a conceptual idea, but they are not sure how to break it down into feasible segments that can be sustainable all year. After all, it may sound great to lose 20 pounds, but what does that process look like every day of the year?

Here at Ko & Humble, we want to help you take manageable and concrete steps in your beauty regimens for this new year. We have nine fabulous New Year’s Beauty Resolutions, and we want you to pick a few that resonate with you. Make it your mission to consider these lifestyle changes.

  1. Take off makeup every night

This is a hard one especially when the night has been very good. To keep up on this resolution, purchase a few multiuse products nearby that make the process quick and easy (like Jojoba Oil). Quality makeup remover wipes can be a great option too.

  1. Pay attention to your skin

Make it your mission to let your skin do the talking. Notice when it needs more care or if reacting to something. Take time to really examine your skin frequently and even keep a diary of things that could be aggravating your issues.

  1. Try something new

You can have lots of fun with this one. Try new makeup, a new way to style your hair, a fun new skincare product. Have fun and don’t get stuck in the same beauty rut. Maybe add one new product a month, or try one new makeup trend or hairstyle each week. Bright blue eye shadow will be huge for spring; you could start there!

  1. Wear sunblock every single day

We only get one face; we need to protect it. Making an intentional goal to remember sunblock every time you leave the house can keep your skin beautiful, safe, and more youthful throughout your entire life. If you wear makeup everyday, it can be easier to buy a product with a safe SPF, like this “Just Skin” Tinted Moisturizer.

  1. Keep up on nails

When we are busy, one of the first things we can forget about is our nails. Yet, well-kept nails are one of the biggest confidence boosters and a simple way to feel feminine. If you don’t want to make a weekly trip to the salon, make it your goal to give yourself a manicure once a week and to remove your nail polish once it starts to chip.

  1. Perform weekly facial massages

Not only are there numerous health benefits with facial massage, but also the act itself is a tremendous method for self-care. Make this great me-time activity a weekly ritual with a great oil, like Jojoba oil. Find one day a week that you know you can perform these massages for a few minutes.

  1. Go heat-less once a week

The constant use of heat styling can cause real damage on your hair. Going heat-free even once a week can offer significant benefits. Let your hair air dry and sweep it into a cute bun, or twist your damp hair into a side braid.

  1. Switch out one toxic product a month

It’s safe to assume that most of us would prefer a great natural product to a chemical-laden one. Yet, many of us have hundreds (or thousands!) of dollars worth of these products on our counters. If you don’t want to go out and buy all new beauty products, replace one empty product each month with a more natural option.

  1. Find peace with your beauty

So many women look in the mirror and hate what they see. We have been conditioned to believe that beautiful women only look one certain way. Not true! The best thing we can do for our beauty this new year is learn to actually see it. In some Eastern philosophies this is called the Inner Smile.  Start by taking a good, long look at yourself in the mirror. Write down three things you like. When you see things that you do not necessarily like and begin with that destructive negative self-talk, catch yourself and replace that thought with a positive affirmation:

I am beautiful inside and out.

I am a gorgeous being.

I love that I get to exist on earth in this body.

My mind, my body, and my spirit are lovely.

 

                     

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