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Kindness To Yourself

Kindness is one of the most powerful sources on this planet, not to be confused with niceness.  Niceness is a slightly shallower pleasance that we bestow upon our fellow humans.  Kindness, however, goes much deeper than that. 

Showing people love, treating them with respect, offering genuine forgiveness, thinking about what it is like in their shoes, staying open-minded to differences, and always choosing words with care.  It’s great and wonderful, and yet time and time again, we forget to show kindness to one person in particular:

Ourselves. 

For so many of us, we become our own worst critics.  If we would talk to others the way we negatively talk to ourselves, we would be labeled the biggest jerks around.  If we undervalued and ignored other people’s health, bodies, and well-being in the same we undervalue and ignore our own care, we would be inconsiderate, at best, and downright terrible, more realistically. 

Why is it sometimes so hard to be kind to ourselves?  Why do you find it so difficult to treat yourself with kindness?

Maybe you have been handed shame and guilt by others so many times, all you see is shame and guilt when you look at yourself in the mirror.  Maybe because you so intimately know each flaw you have and each mistake you’ve made, you are reminded of them every day.  Or maybe you are so trapped by perfectionism and insurmountable expectations, you rarely feel like you will be able to amount to anything of worth.

But think about this:  If you had a relationship with somebody who constantly berated you, spoke down to you, told you that you weren’t good enough, kept bringing up your faults, refused to care for your needs, refused to give you rest, and heaped upon you one expectation after the other – you would (hopefully) end that relationship quickly.

Yet, we do this to ourselves everyday.  We think, “Sure, I can wrap my brain around showing kindness to others.”  And still, showing kindness to ourselves feels like the hardest thing to do. Like any other thing in this life, to get better, you have to practice.  Here are a few ways to show yourself kindness today.

Treat yourself 

  1. Think about one thing that brings you pleasure and do it without shame and guilt.

This could include, but is certainly not limited to:

  • Lighting a candle and sitting down with your favorite gossip magazine.
  • Getting dessert with a friend after work.
  • Splurging on a pedicure.
  • Leaving work 10 minutes early to beat traffic.
  • Go to bed earlier and love every minute.
  • Doing the cardio you love for as long as you like, that runner’s high.
  1. Replace a negative thought with a positive thought.

Sometimes in the pursuit of ridding our brains of negative self-talk, we end up adding even more negative self talk when we berate ourselves for every unkind thought that pops into our minds.  It is much more effective to replace the negative thought with a positive one than it is to beat yourself up about it.

You think:  “I can never do anything right.”

Then you replace it with:  “I do so many things right, yet I am allowed to make mistakes sometimes because I’m human.”

  1. Stop saying “no” when you want to say “yes” and vice versa.

We live in a confused society where people say “yes” to all sorts of things they really do not want to do, yet deprive themselves by saying “no” to what they actually want.

  • Say “no” to the baby shower you do not want to go to; say “yes” to the mimosa brunch with a girlfriend that you do want to go to.
  • Say “no” to being guilted into contributing to the office fundraiser you do not feel passionate about; say “yes” spending that extra money on your hobby.
  1. Speak your truth.

In deep fear of hurting someone else or being judged, we often silence ourselves.  By doing this, you tell yourself that your voice or opinion does not matter.  Find a way to speak your truth kindly, but as firmly as you need to.  Stand up for yourself the way you would stand up for somebody else. 

Show yourself some kindness today.  Then again tomorrow.  Make it a pattern.  Because at the end of the day, you are the only person you are guaranteed to have in your life.  You might as well make it a healthy relationship!

 

                     

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Makeup Trends For Your Holiday Party

The holiday season is party season. We all know that holiday parties come with a more heightened sense of fashion and style than most other parties throughout the year. This festive time calls for the best dresses, the most dazzling shoes, and the latest and greatest in makeup.

With your upcoming holiday work parties, friend gatherings, and family reunions, we want to keep you up-to-date on winter makeup trends that could not be more perfect for your special event.

  • Winter Berry

    While summer can keep its warm tones, like coral, winter is the perfect time to pull out all of your cool berry shades, a color that can look great on many parts of your face. A dark berry or burgundy shade on your eyes could be just the right color for your party. In fact, it’s the perfect color to enhance your regular smoky eye, a trend that is, once again, hot this season. A berry blush is the perfect way to wrap up the wintery look.

    And don’t forget your nails! Berry nails were big this fall and will be a great look for the holiday party.

    Try Bobbi Brown Eye Shadow in Black Plum for that berry smoky eye. Nars’ blush in Sin is the perfect light berry hint to brighten your cheeks. Deborah Lippmann’s Miss Independent nail color is great for berry nails.

    • Blue Eyes

    This spring will be bringing in a big trend of vibrant blue eye makeup (think cobalt). If you would like to show the world (or at least the other partygoers) that you are up on all the latest style trends, you might want to break this one out a couple months early. Now, don’t think 80s right now; this is a sleeker look. You can try a blue eyeliner to start subtly, or you can go big by filling in your lid up to the crease.

    Mac’s Pearlglide Intense Eyeliner in Petrol Blue is a fantastic deeper shade that may seem less scary. Nars’ bright Matte Eyeshadow in Outremer is for the bravest of us fashionistas out there!

    • Dark (really dark!) Statement Lip

    We’ve all, undoubtedly, tried the bright red lip for the holidays. It’s always a solid choice. But this year, if you’d like to shake it up a bit, you can try an extremely dark wine color. Black lips were a big hit in this fall’s runways. While black may be a bit extreme for your office party, you can use it as inspiration and courage to try a darker shade than you’d normally buy.

    Remember to keep the rest of your makeup a bit tamer when you put such emphasis on single part of your face.

    Try Yves Sait Laurent Rouge Pur Couture in 205 Prune. Or, if you’d like to use a stain that stays on all night, Sephora’s Cream Lip Stain in Blackberry Sorbet is lovely.

    • Strong brows

    Thick brows are hot right now. Think a little less wax and tweezers and whole lot more eyebrow gel to keep those unruly hairs in place. For your holiday party, try filling in your brows to a slightly fuller thickness. Of course, just because thick and filled-in brows are trending doesn’t mean that eye brows should become overgrown; they should be kept to a nice shape.

    Anastasia’s Brow Powder Duo is the perfect tool for filling in those brows. Their Tinted Brow Gel can help hold the hairs in place without making them look stiff.

    Prep your skin for an evening out with moisturizing Marula Oil  

                         

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    9 Ways Exercise Makes You Beautiful

    Some of us live to exercise; others of us live to avoid it. But we all know in order to lead long, full, and healthful lives, we must get moving. No matter what gets you in the gym, motivates you to conquer the outdoors, encourages you to switch a car ride for a bike ride, or guides you to a yoga mat – the truth is the same: exercise helps you lose weight, get strong, and lower stress, but it also makes you more beautiful. Here are nine reasons why:

    1. Clearer Skin

    Exercise helps acne suffers in multiple ways: reduced stress breakouts, hormonal regulation, increased blood flow, and detoxification. Just make sure to workout without makeup to prevent clogged pores and to wash your face right after you finish your sweat session (or bring facial wipes like these to the gym).

    1. Younger Skin

    The benefits that exercise gives to those with acne also help those wanting to keep their skin youthful, firm, and plump. But on top of all those benefits, exercise also offers another anti-aging punch: it can boost actual collagen production. This is especially true of strength training, so get lifting!

    1. Healthier Hair

    Hair loss is a real concern that affects both men and women, and there are actually three types of hair loss directly associated with stress. Since exercise is an ultimate stress-buster, you can help keep your beloved locks where you want them. The increased blood flow doesn’t hurt either!

    1. Sweaty Detoxification

    Our skin is our largest organ, and it is designed to detoxify your body. Sweating cleanses our bodies of toxins, an ability that offers major benefits not only helping our entire bodies, but also our skin. Pores are happy after a good sweaty, detoxifying workout (another good reason to exercise makeup free).

    1. Reduced cellulite

    While programs that claim to spot-train cellulite away are unfortunately myths, focusing on the overall toning your muscles and dropping your body fat percentage are great ways to combat cellulite. The increased circulation plays a factor in improving cellulite as well (that is why dry brushing is a great option too).

    1. Heightened Self-Confidence

    As actress Blake Lively says, “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” You do not need to have a competition body in order to gain some real self-assurance from a workout. Simply knowing that you are strong and capable of physical movement instantly boosts your confidence and makes you feel beautiful.

    1. More Sleep

    “Beauty rest” may be a cliché, but the phrase is around for a reason. Your body and skin will look beautifully refreshed when you are getting consistent sleep, and regular exercise is one of the best methods to assure that is happening. Exercise can even significantly improve sleep for those with chronic insomnia.

    1. Higher Libido

    Regular exercise is great for both men and women’s sex drives. For the ladies, exercise has shown to even increase physical arousal. When you are in touch with your sexuality, you will feel more attractive. Another plus – the hormones released while having sex actually have a positive effect on beauty including younger skin and healthier hair.

    1. Better Posture

    A stronger core is essential for better posture. While you can achieve core strength through many different workouts, yoga and Pilates focus specifically on core strengthening. Classes like Barre that integrate some traditional ballet are also fabulous for an elegant posture as well.

                         

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